Monday, April 16, 2007

2006, Adieu, betch. (Part II)

So yeah...the Chubby Hippo nominees...


I love Spanish culture. And with the blessings of a man named Pedro Almodóvar, who churned out such films as Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, Talk to Her and All About My Mother, he has gained a cult following, which includes me. His lates offering is yet another masterpiece, and what I believe, is the best since Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. Penélope Cruz offers a sultry performance as a housewife, and Carmen Maura is wonderful as her long-lost mother, returning from the dead. Yohana Cobo and Lola Duenas provide well-acted support, in an honest, compassionate film, that lacks Almodóvar's usual carnal sexual explicitness (which tripped some of his other films).

4. Children of Men


This is the movie I saw from the beginning. I don't mean to be rude, but I saw this coming. I hoped for this film to be big, and despite it's late bloomer status, locked out of the major awards, it was my film from the start. But let's get to the point. In this very loose adaptation of my favorite P.D. James novel, Clive Owen is a few years too young, Julianne Moore doesn't get pregnant and the main antagonist is scratched. Yet Clive Owen looks dirty enough to be fifty, and packs the same forthcoming determination. Julianne Moore doesn't get pregnant, but what the hell. Clare Hope-Ashitey was, in my mind, the best acted breakout performance of 2006, with her dirtied features, doe eyes, and very large belly. At least I got one prediction right.


3. Clean



Clean was the first of the year that really was good. For a while I thought no film could surpass. Then Kate Winslet and Ivana Baquero came waltzing along, and uh-oh, it was bounced to third, but it was still a gem of a movie. These top three films are truly masterpieces in themselves, among those twenty-five elite that remain the top films of the decade. Maggie Cheung and Nick Nolte deliver some of the most mind-blowing and impressive performances of the year, that pack all the punch that we only thought big-budget Oscar films could pack. Cheung came forward through 2046 and In the Mood for Love, but with her ex-hubby Oliver Assayas, she gave such a performance that it pounded all the other Meryl Streeps down.


2. Pan's Labryinth



As Pan's Labryinth finished, I sat in a daze for a few moments. I was stunned. The acting, the visuals, the ideas, the plot...it all worked together to form a spell-bounding film that left spittle escaping the side of my mouth. Disgusting, but the frog's intestines were also plenty unpleasant. Ivana Baquero, Maribel Verdu, Adriana Gil, Alex Angulo and especially Sergi Lopez in a performance that made Darth Vader look like a good guy, worked together with the mind-bottling visuals to force that spit out of the left side of my mouth. The film is gorgeous, from the frog's intestines covered in cave beatles, slime and a key, to a towering golden hall flowered with three beautiful thrones, reaching up towards the ceiling. I want to see it again.



1. Little Children


Ah...I love Kate Winslet (who doesn't)? Yet, besides Heavenly Creatures, Iris, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, etc...there is a red swimsuit that calls for her. Her beautiful potrayal of a housewife in a struggle, mid-life crisis to say, blew my mind away. Meanwhile, Patrick Wilson remained a sexay house-husband, under the not-so-watchful eye of Jennnifer Connelly. Together, Winslet and Wilson acted their way to the top of my list, relieving me of every inhuman cinematic attempt at recreating suburban life in the twenty-five years of my life. And they need to do more sex scene together.

Cherry Maraschino For the Morning Blues

I changed the general format of the blog, from purple-and-white to red all around. And Blogger and YouTube won't work together so for some error, I can't post video. Aw, fuck it. Here's a nice little (PhotoShopped) picture of Jessica Simpson's mugshot. Don't worry John Mayer, it's not real.


Friday, April 6, 2007

April Fool's Day: Part II

This is the second part of the April Fool's Day celebration, with tiers of the films, performances and direction. The black signifies the nominees, the blue signifies the contenders and red signifies the long shots. Part II is Picture and Leading Actor/Actress. Part III is the less interesting part, with Director and Supporting Actor/Actress. With the exception of me, because Supporting Actress is just such a sexy category. Now excuse me while I run off to watch Grind House with zombies eating Fergalicious meat and getting shot down by Rose McGowan's undeniably sexy gun of leg.

Picture
Reservation Road
Charlie Wilson’s War
American Gangster
There Will be Blood
The Assassination of Jesse James...
Evening
In the Valley of Elah
The Golden Age
Stop Loss

Sweeney Todd
Rendition
My Blueberry Nights
A Mighty Heart
I’m Not There
The Golden Compass
Elegy: Dying Animal


Leading Actress
Angelina Jolie, A Mighty Heart
Cate Blanchett, The Golden Age
Catherine Keener, An American Crime
Nicole Kidman, Margot at the Wedding
Halle Berry, Things We Lost in the Fire
Marion Coitllard, La Vie en Rose
Keira Knightley, Atonement
Julia Roberts, Charlie Wilson’s War
Anna Paquin, Margaret
Reese Witherspoon, Rendition
Norah Jones, My Blueberry Nights
Jodie Foster, The Brave One
Vanessa Redgrave, Evening
Ashley Judd, Bug
Helena Bonham Carter, Sweeney Todd
Julie Christie, Away From Her

Leading Actor
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will be Blood
Brad Pitt, The Assassination of Jesse James...
Tom Hanks, Charlie Wilson’s War
Joaquin Phoenix, Reservation Road
Denzel Washington, American Gangster
George Clooney, Michael Clayton
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
Jake Gyllenhaal, Rendition
Don Cheadle, Talk to Me
John Cusack, Grace Is Gone
Christian Bale, Rescue Dawn
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
Javier Bardem, Goya’s Ghosts
Ryan Phillippe, Stop Loss
James McAvoy, Atonement
Javier Bardem, Love in the Time of Cholera

Sunday, April 1, 2007

April Fool's Day. Part I.

April Fool's Day doesn't mean incorrect predix. So let me get to the point. Here are my first predictions for this Oscar Race. Now before I get out, lemme just give you the Oscar predictions. These are for the major categories, and are ordered.


Picture
Charlie Wilson’s War
American Gangster
In the Valley of Elah
Evening
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford



Director
Mike Nichols, Charlie Wilson’s War
Kimberly Peirce, Stop Loss
Wong Kar Wai, My Blueberry Nights
Ridley Scott, American Gangster
Andrew Dominik, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford


Leading Actor
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will be Blood
Brad Pitt, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Tom Hanks, Charlie Wilson’s War
Denzel Washington, American Gangster
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah

Leading Actress
Angelina Jolie, A Mighty Heart
Cate Blanchett, The Golden Age
Catherine Keener, An American Crime
Nicole Kidman, Margot at the Wedding
Keira Knightley, Atonement

Supporting Actor
Joaquin Phoenix, Reservation Road
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson’s War
Jason Patric, In the Valley of Elah
Matthew Fox, Vantage Point
Chris Cooper, The Kingdom

Supporting Actress
Mira Sorvino, Reservation Road
Rachel Weisz, My Blueberry Nights
Vanessa Redgrave, Charlie Wilson’s War
Flora Cross, American Gangster
Meryl Streep, Evening

Original Screenplay
Stop Loss
In the Valley of Elah
American Gangster
Cassandra's Dream
Margot at the Wedding

Adapted Screenplay
Charlie Wilson's War
Reservation Road
Beowulf
Evening
The Assassination of Brad Pitt by the Coward Ben Affleck's Brother

Marianne Jean-Baptiste

Marianne Jean-Baptiste
My namesake.